Violetta

Dear Jewel,

Something that you probably may not know about me, although probably could have guessed based on the style of writing I possess, is that I own diaries! Notice how I said diary plural, and not diary singular? A total of five diaries sit in my bedside drawer for different occasions and different feelings. These are my most precious possessions that I cherish with all my heart, and I love them so much. I have decided to compile a few entries from my electronical diary, as a show of my love for them (and also because I just realized how DRAMATIC I am oh my gosh). Anyway, I hope you enjoy me being unnecessarily dramatic

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June 21st, 2022

i think when you start loving yourself from within, it really starts to show in your mannerisms or how you perceive life, or in your physical aspects. i think the reason why I’m scared of others loving me is if they see the flaws in myself that I don’t love you know? the more I confront those flaws, the more beautiful I become. i really think just letting myself be is the best thing I can do.

🦋🦋🦋

August 2nd, 2022

Dear jewel,

I sort of already ranted to other jewel about everything but I decided it’s good to express my feelings here too.

I’ve done a lot of work today concerning yearbook and ap psychology which I am very proud of myself for. I also managed to stay off my phone for the WHOLE DAY which I am actually impressed by. I wonder if I can keep this whole attitude up for at least the rest of the week.

I won’t lie, some of my friends are beginning to make me a bit mad...I feel more pretty lately and comfortable within myself, but I’m sure it’s because I haven’t gone out a lot. But I went to ICC a little while ago and bro so many people called me fine I was shocked, like damn did I look that good???? It just boosted me a little LIKE maybe this is my year???

Also PLEASE PRAY FOR ME THAT I GET INTO ALL MY COLLEGES I REALLY NEED IT I CANT HANDLE REJECTION JEWEL YOU KNOW I CANT UGH‼️‼️‼️

Okay that’s about it, love you jewel muah muah muah

01:29 am

🦋🦋🦋

August 3rd, 2022, 23:51 pm

I’ve decided to use my physical diary to document my days as I go by, and to use this to write my thoughts as it’s much easier.

I wish that I was more easy going when it came to things such as mirrors and videos of me tbh. I hate hiding from the camera or being the only friend who doesn’t take pictures at events it’s so embarrassing and it’s even more embarrassing when you're FORCED into it

I hate it so much and it makes me feel so BAD

like I couldn’t even look at myself today when I was getting my hair done in the mirror and I’ve really mastered that art tbh

I’ve also mastered the art of not looking at videos or photos I’m in. It’s really difficult when I’m also so curious to know whether I looked pretty or not tbh

I hope that before senior photos I get over this tbh 😭😭 when I travel I MUST TAKE PICTURES

23:54 pm

🦋🦋🦋

August 5th, 2022 01:06 am

Dear Jewel,

I wish I was prettier tbh. I’m tired of this

Signing off dramatic asl,

uche. 🦋

PS: I would just like to say that I wrote most of these HIGHLY emotional, and always go back to look at these entires and laugh